light

Let me shed some light. A decision has been made in our family; one that was made EQUALLY by me and Robert. It was a difficult decision. But it was a decision that had to be made. Robert has dropped out of EVMCO (East Valley Mormon Choral Organization). I don't blame him. He doesn't blame me. Our family comes first. And lately we have needed more focus on our family. If you have problems with our decision or feel that I am to blame, please keep it to yourself. I already feel horrible enough that this decision had to be made in the first place. Sorry if you do not agree with our decision, but it is OURS alone to make.

work

Yup. It has been a while. Nope. I don't feel too guilty. I have been working to finalize the last few aspects of my business. Opened a business account today at the credit union. Saving and filing every receipt. Formulating and printing a multitude of documents. Strangely, each new step gives me a sense of accomplishment. I am doing this on my own, with my own money (though many have helped me with structure more than I can ever repay). IT. FEELS. AMAZING.
The boys? They are good. Just being little silly heads. Entertaining themselves. Learning so many new things. Defining their personalities day by day.
The husband? He is good. Just working like crazy. Trying to figure out the next step for our journey. Dreading student loans to get a Master's (there may be no other choice). Still singing with EVMCO.
Two biggest things (that pertain to ME and not really the family):
I GOT MY CAMERA. Finally. Earned it on my own. And I love the heck out of it.
I AM GOING TO VEGAS. Professional photography convention. 4 days with my awesome friend Angie.

Since I haven't pulled the point 'n shoot out for anything other than taking pictures of my children sleeping awkwardly (speaking of which, Lucas actually fell ASLEEP on the changing table. twice. in one night), I will leave you with a couple of our photos that are on my photography website.

I swallowed a watermelon seed. And it grew...

bittersweet

This day has been... bittersweet. Today was the day that my dear friend laid her sweet baby to rest. I had the opportunity to attend the short yet tender service that was held in her honor. I will not - I cannot - describe the experience of being there; it breaks my heart just to think back to a few hours earlier today. And, as is with all things in life, we cannot dwell on the past; we must continue to move forward.
I will tell you that this entire experience has changed my perspective on so many things. I hug my babies a little bit more. I don't get as frustrated or short with them. I appreciate each jab and kick from the little one within me. I don't get as annoyed or wearied by him. Our time here is just too short to take for granted.

Ella, I will always remember you, even though I never had the opportunity to meet you.

life

Our lives have been more or less the same as always the past few weeks; lack of school can give life a monotonous feel. The boys have been giving us a run for our money, though. Lucas grows increasingly mischievous day by day. His antics are beginning to wear a little thin... I can only take so many new "skills" in one day. Such as the skill of climbing on top of the changing table in the middle of the night. Or the skill of jumping off the changing table when caught. Or the skill of taking all of the baby wipes out of the container, shredding them to minuscule pieces, then shoving them back into the container. Or the skill of banging the sippy cup "just right" to allow the milk to freely flow all over mom's couch. Ps. These awesome life skills were mastered in a single day. Joel has been more aggressive? violent? abusive? I hate to use such words, but there is no nice way to describe it. Blatantly hitting or smacking us. Banging toys against Lucas's head (luckily, the kid has a ridiculously hard head). Throwing things with all his strength. I don't see the potential for a bully; just average 2 yr old behavior. But tiring none the less. Besides, Robert and I are bigger. Does he really think he is going to win? Luckily all of this rough play makes for sound sleeping... sometimes smack dab in the middle of lunch...

This last picture was caught in mid jump. So glad he has courage...

With an increase of aggressiveness, Joel has shown an increase of love. He will say "I love you" without being prompted. It is always heartwarming to hear those three little words pop out of his mouth without any warning. And he gives the best hugs and kisses, too. See... it balances...

christmas

I finally have the time, energy, and desire to blog about Christmas and similarly related material. As a Christmas present, Robert's parents' took the ENTIRE Root family to Zoo Lights (well, those of us that were in AZ for Christmas). CRAZINESS. Knowing my poor little ones would freeze, I bought both boys matching beanies and bear mittens. Of course, it wasn't cold enough for them the night we went. I put them on anyway (just because I am in love with the mittens). The boys enjoyed the lights; Joel dropped his jaw at one point. Later that evening, we unwrapped our Christmas pajamas. ASU jammies for everyone! I love my jammies; I wear them every chance I get. I would even wear them to church if that were permissible. Christmas Day was spent with both families - opening gifts and eating delicious food. Biggest surprise: Robert bought the rights for my photography trade name. Most stressful thing: trying to put together Lucas's new toddler bed . Sweetest moment: finding Lucas in Joel's toddler bed, curled up next to Joel. Since Christmas, Joel and Lucas have wound up in the same bed together every night.
And no, it is not how it looks. My angle was weird; Joel's hand is on Lucas's LEG.

For the last few weeks, I have alluded to a big project that was taking a lot of time and focus. Well, finally, I am finished with said project and able to show you. It is my photography site (that I completely designed). Check it out!

And if you are on Facebook, feel free to "like" my page.

this is how my heart behaves

I was going to post about our Christmas, but that seems and feels completely irrelevant right now. I will soon, just not today. Instead, I wish to express my deepest feelings - in all seriousness. Joking aside. A dear, dear friend of mine is due with her first baby on January 17th. Just a few weeks ago, they discovered that her sweet baby girl would be born with a major heart defect that would require surgery soon after birth. Success rates of the surgery gave much needed hope. Silver lining to the dark clouds. Yesterday, the situation deteriorated in a matter of hours and an emergency c-section was preformed (at 37 weeks - full term). The heart defect was worse than anyone had anticipated; her tiny heart was just not strong enough. My friend's dear little one only lasted a few short hours on this earth before passing on.
I am devastated. My friend is such a magnificent person; it pains me to think of her tremendous loss. I know how much she longed to experience motherhood. I know how much she had been looking forward to the day when she would be able to hold her baby in her arms. I cannot comprehend what my friend must be feeling at this time; if my heart is breaking, I cannot imagine how hers feels. Many tears have been shed for her today. The only consolation is the knowledge of eternal families. If not for that, I do not know how anyone could rise above such painful circumstances.

If there is room in your heart and change in your pocket, please click on the REMEMBERING ELLA link below. The family is struggling to find the necessary funds for the funeral.

REMEMBERING ELLA

be merry

one hundred percent

December 22nd was SUPPOSE to be the ultrasound where we found out baby number three's gender. But since we already found out, December 22nd was the ultrasound where we were one hundred percent certain our baby is a boy; we had only been ninety nine percent sure before. I would have been concerned if certain parts had disappeared... So, as much as is possible right now, we "introduce":

Daniel Liam Root

And here is mommy at 4 months...

He's a kicker...

something

I finally have SOMETHING worth blogging about. A couple things, actually. First and foremost, Robert GRADUATED! He received his Bachelor of Science in Accountancy from Arizona State University. I talked him into walking at convocation, which was held on Dec. 16th (my birthday). Second, my birthday. I turned 25; it feels no different than 24. But it IS weird to think I am a quarter-of-a-century old. Robert and I went out for dinner and a movie. Childless bliss (I love my children. I also love breaks). Third, friend play-date. A friend, Nadene, is visiting AZ for Christmas. A group of friends took advantage of her trip home and held a play-date for us and our little ones. 5 friends. 8.5 babies (though one was a friend's nephew). It was... tiring. entertaining. FUN. Now... to survive the remainder of this week...
Please disregard my painful smile in the birthday picture...

oops

Sometimes I forget I have a blog. Sometimes I just don't want to make the effort. Sometimes I feel guilty for not posting; I know how disappointed I get when I visit blogs that are not updated. I would share our latest and greatest with you, but I have not touched my camera since Thanksgiving. Seriously. Not once. Concentrating on Christmas decorating, Christmas treat making, Christmas presents (minus one person, DONE!), etc. I am also working on something special (which I will share with you VERY soon). In the meantime, skip over us for today. Check back in a few days... we will resume our photo-filled fury SOON (we have a lot of fun stuff coming up).

Oh, and if any of you are curious as to my creative use of words while blogging, I use an online thesaurus more often than not. There. Spilled my literary secret.

Dang. Now I am craving this...