wednesday what

First and foremost, I hate the new look of blogger. Seriously makes it difficult to do simple tasks.
Whatever. Moving on.
The last few weeks have been insane. In a good way.
I told myself that I HAD to make it until Saturday. Not that I thought I wouldn't.
Now that my shower and maternity photo session are over, baby girl can come any time.
Unless she wants to wait 4 or 5 more weeks. That would be perfectly fine, too.
I have a lot of tasks I can work on.
Like painting nursery furniture
and sewing a few things
and making headbands and hair bows
and, well, you get the idea.

Let's back track a little. This past Saturday, I had my pictures taken by the amazingly talented Jen of Green Apple Images.
So so so glad I did this. If you are on Facebook, you have probably seen her preview for me.
I AM IN LOVE. And it is only the first of many more beautiful photos.
So excited to see the rest. But I know the editing process and am patient.
Being with Jen was super easy and incredibly fun. She comes from an amazing family.

The weekend before my maternity shoot was my baby shower.
It was small, but lovely. Just the perfect amount of everything. Friends. Treats. Gifts.
I decided that since this is my 4th & last, I would do something more intimate than my first shower.
With Joel, I invited practically everyone I knew. Over 100 guests. It was slightly overwhelming.
This time, my guest list was super short. And though I feel bad for not including more friends, I am happy with my choice.
If you did not recieve an invite, please do not be sad. I do love you. Unless you are a creepy stalker.

So that's that. No locking myself in my car this week.
Though Lucas DOES bang on the windows yelling, "Let me out!" whenever we arrive somewhere. Great...

Everything was SO PINK!

if you want it...

So... Remember when I made this little lovely thing? Worked ever so long and hard on it. Guess what? Change of plans. I will NOT be making baby girl's bedding. Which means I will no longer be using this. Sadness. It just does not match. So I am going to sell it. Asking $35 (OBO). It is approximately 14" wide, 20" tall. Strawberry, cream, petal pink, and teal (hidden pops of apple green). Leave me a comment if you are interested!

wednesday what

This picture is not from today. Nor does it completely depict today's feelings.But it will have to do.See how I am in a car here? My story today DOES have to do with that. That particular car, in fact.In April of 2010, we bought our Highlander. And I love it. Comfortably seats seven.In Septemeber of 2010, we learned that child locks are essential. Joel learned how to open the door. While we were driving home from Utah. Going 85 mph.Joel never messes with the door anymore. Lucas... Always. Child locks are needed in our car.But today I learned that child locks are dangerous.I was loading the kids in the car after a shopping trip at Target. Since Lucas and Joel JUST moved to the third row (to make room for baby), I climbed in to help buckle them into their booster seats. Trying to be curtious in case the owner of the neighboring car left while I was strapping my kids into my car, I closed the door ALMOST all the way. It shut. I thought nothing of it. I buckled Daniel in. I buckled Joel in. I buckled Lucas in. Gave them sippy cups and a few fruit snacks. And I tried to get out. It took a second to realize why I couldn't open the door. Child locks. I thought for a minute about my predicament. I couldn't open the door, obviously. The keys were in my hand, so I couldn't roll down a window to access the outside handle of the door. I am nearly 8 months pregnant, so I couldn't crawl over Daniel's carseat (which is in the middle seat of the second row), nor could I crawl over the passenger's seat. There is just no room for me to go over anything. I couldn't go out through the back for the same reason. Besides, there is no inside handle to the rear door. I was trapped in my car with my three babies. Trying to remain calm, I waited for someone to pass by. It takes a while for someone to actually walk by. I started pounding on the windows while shouting "help". The woman glanced up. A conflicted look crossed her face. And she started veering to the other side of the row, occasionally looking at the car. She did not stop to help. The boys started crying when they saw me getting agitated. Another lady walks by, so I tried again. "Help me! Please!" I pounded harder. The second person stole a quick look at my car and sped up. She did not stop to help. I was hysterical. I screamed. I pounded. The boys screamed. And cried. I think a third person walked by without stopping to help. But I was so frantic it just didn't register. A man appeared outside my car next to me. He must have come up behind from the front of the car. I managed to shout, "please open my door; I am trapped" between sobs. Without hesitation, he opened the door. I started bawling uncontrollably. He made sure everyone was safe and sound as I scrambled out of the car. I thanked him profusely, not knowing what else to say to this stranger who just saved me and my babies from baking inside my car. I quickly climbed into the driver's seat and just cried for a few minutes. I was so gratfeul for the stranger who helped; I was so appalled by those who just walked past. I get it, though. If the situation were reversed, what would I do? As a pregnant woman with kids in tow, I would feel vulnerable. What if it were a trap?But I don't think I could just do NOTHING. Especially after my experience.I would call 911. Or at least let security know someone might be trapped.There are still good people in the world, even if few and far between.

wednesday what

Look at that beautiful thing. Lemon-glazed tea cake. It was as delicious as it looks. Recipe found HERE (though I substituted the brown rice flour with my AMAZING GF flour...)This was my Easter contribution. Slightly disappointed that more people didn't try it.More for me, right? Considering I ate tea cake for breakfast, lunch, and dessert on Monday...
Easter was a roller coaster of a day. Boys opened their baskets from the Easter bunny. Total excitement over trivial items. Score.Got to church early. Not out of the norm for us. But still nice.Realized the little infection on Daniel's leg was now the size of a ping pong ball.Try to text my mom. No response. Waiting. Waiting.Response. If it is hot and swollen, go to urgent care.It is hot and swollen. We leave after Sacrament meeting for urgent care.Urgent care was quick and easy. Antibiotics and ointment for infection.Oh, btw, Daniel might have MRSA. A drug-resistant strain of staph. Awesome.Back to church for Relief Society. Might have gotten emotional at a story shared.Home for lunch and nap. The boys were perfect. For once.Put the glaze on my cake and try to go all Martha Stewart with sugar dusting. Fail.Headed to my family's Easter dinner. Boys hunted for eggs. I sadly sat on the sidelines.Dinner. Delicious food. No awkward or annoying comments made. Win.Easter baskets opened. Boys loved their stuff. No fighting. Amazing.Headed to Robert's family's house. Personal drama resulted in my meltdown.Eventually pulled myself together and enjoyed the time with family.Went home happy. Kids started acting up. Turned into full out monsters.Bath time and bed time were a disaster. But eventually they fell asleep.The frustrations of the day wore on me and Robert. We didn't relax during OUR time.I passed out as Robert was trying to right our woes. Oops.And that was our Easter. The good, the bad, and all else in between.
Robert and I don't fight a lot. At least I don't think we do. Disagree? Yes. Argue? Kinda. Fight? No.Besides, I forget I am 7.5 months pregnant. And ridiculously emotional. RIDICULOUSLY. Which does not help.The pictures below are from throughout our day. No candy. Only one egg with fruit snacks. And they didn't even care.That plastic tub in the background? All their eggs.Me and my cousin. She is due a week after me.

wednesday what

Um. This picture is just six months old. And both Lucas and Daniel look soooooo different than this. Wow. I would have something more recent, but I have been camera-lazy. Next week. After Easter. We will revisit and see what they look like now.Moving on.I have been pondering a lot lately. About many things. But mostly about feelings.I have had a mini epiphany about me and my boys. Ready? Each one is different.Well, duh. But I am not talking about them being different in the way you are thinking.Each of my boys has taught me something different. A result of birth-order.Joel: to learn. Lucas: to apply. Daniel: to enjoy.
I don't care what anyone says, but ONE baby was the hardest for me. I was clueless. And when it comes to Joel, I always will be. I will always have to learn what it is like to have a newborn, one year old, two year old, three year old, and so on - from scratch - with him. No amount of literature on the subject can TRULY prepare you for your own first child. They are your learning experience.
Number two was a piece of cake. Especially since they were so close. We had almost completed one full year with Joel when Lucas came along. So I knew how to handle it better the second time around. I was able to apply what I had just learned. Sure, Lucas and Joel are different. But overall, everything was easy with my second. They are your chance to apply learned skills.
Number three was almost as easy as number two. I learned that it took more time for everything, but that most things were more enjoyable. I snuggled longer. Gave more kisses. Worked for more smiles. With Daniel, I have soaked up infancy. I have not rushed it. I know it is nearing its end. So I have just taken the time to love on my third. They are your reminder to enjoy the ride.
Because of this - and their unique personalities - I love them differently. Sometimes I feel bad. That I am playing favorites. But when I think about what they teach me because of the order in which I had them, it makes sense. And I feel a little less guilty for wanting to cuddle with Daniel all the time. Or work the hardest with Joel to broaden his intelligence. Or show Lucas something new he can learn to do with his every-busy hands. There is no way to love your children evenly. There is no such thing as even.Just different.