beans beans the musical fruit

No, I don't have gas.. Yes, I DO have beans. POUNDS of beans. Out my ears... That would make an amusing picture... Here's the story:
MONDAY: I decide to soak and bake beans for soup and whatnot. A lot of my friends are having babies and I figure a nice bean soup would be helpful to overwhelmed new parents. I began searching for the perfect recipe (which I later discard for a creation of my own concoction).
TUESDAY: I pull out my beans. All six bags; black beans, pinto beans, black eyed peas, split peas, navy beans, and kidney beans. I thought myself a genius for wanting to soak them all at once and get them out of the way. I proceed to pour the beans (as you can see below, in an obsessive compulsive manner) into the pot. When I finish separating the beans (yes, I am a freak), I add water. I add just over an inch of water above the level of the beans.
TUESDAY 20 MIN. LATER: I check on how the beans are soaking (you know, since soaking beans need to be checked often). I am a little surprised to see that the level of the beans had risen to the top of the water, but I figure that they wouldn't rise much more.
TUESDAY 20 MORE MIN. LATER: The beans are towering over the pot, threatening to spill over. Panicking, I race around the house, looking for something to move the massive heap of beans into. I don't have a pot or pan or container BIG enough to hold the continuously expanding beans. While running around, I nearly stumble over Baby's laundry basket (with laundry that still needs to be done). Viola! With Joel's clothes now scattering the floor, I go back into the kitchen to dump the beans into the plastic tub; they filled the tub about a fourth of the way. I don't even bother trying to make the beans pretty. I add more water and leave them overnight.
WEDNESDAY: It's afternoon. I'm not very inspired, but the beans DO need to be taken care of. They now fill the tub about half of the way. The water is nearly gone; so low that you can only see it when you dig into the beans. I begin the process of rinsing the beans. I placed 3 cups of beans in a pot on the stove; I placed 3 more cups of beans in the crock pot. I cut up bacon, ham, carrots, celery, and onion. Divide between the pots. Add seasonings and garlic. Resume rinsing the remainder of beans. I may attempt to cook all the beans that I can, but lose interest quickly. Instead, I rinse and bag the rest of the beans. I fill 2 gallon size bags and 3 quart size bags. I lose probably another cup or two to the drain and the floor.
WEDNESDAY EVENING: The bean soup on the stove doesn't turn out as well as the bean soup in the crock pot. Who cares. By this point, it is amazing that I even EAT the beans. Though the beans weren't 100% cooked, the soup still tastes pretty good.
FRIDAY: My friend Kristi (the one who the crock pot bean soup is for) calls and tells me that she wants me to make more soup for her parents. Surprisingly, I am thrilled to make the soup (I want to get rid of the beans).
SATURDAY: I know that I need to make the soup on Monday and am dreading it. I hate BEANS!


By the way, my website Simple by Design is nearly completed (I still need to figure out pricing and ordering). The banner under my header is linked to the webpage. Take a look! If you see anything that you would be interested in me making for you or want to leave a review, send me a message at simplebyleigh[AT]gmail[DOT]com (I didn't link it or write @ or . because I don't want spam mail!) We can discuss prices (I am currently pricing low since I am just starting up).