opportunity

You know how every once in a while, the opportunity of a lifetime plants itself in your lap? That is what our new home was (even with all my whining about it not being perfect. cosmetic, Leigh. cosmetic). And that is what my trip to Japan was. Opportunity of a lifetime. Something that comes along and if you blink before seizing it, it is gone. Another opportunity of a lifetime has found me. And it couldn't be more perfect.
The new opportunity that has presented itself to me? A job. No. Not just A job. THE job. Yes, I have photography. And yes, my monetary needs are generally filled through my photo shoots. But it is not a regular source of income. Some seasons are better than others. THE job that has found me is currier work. What is a currier? It is a person that drives from point A to point B (to points C, D, E, F, and G as well), delivering and collecting X, Y, and Z items from various contracted clients. Lots of driving (in-car jam sessions) and little human interaction (pleasant hellos immediately followed by quick goodbyes). No nasty or rude people to deal with. No 9-5 at a desk in front of a computer. Just driving and delivering. And it is a job I have done before. In fact this job helped to fund both my camera and my trip to Japan. In very short amounts of time. Four days per item, to be exact (for half the money needed for either item - photography supplied the second half over a longer period of time).

So the new opportunity that has presented itself to me? Working every Friday. From 8:45 - 11am and 1:45 - 4pm. And receiving a SWEET paycheck for my work. Averaging more than $35 an hour. Seriously the opportunity of a lifetime.
Unfortunately, this opportunity has presented itself at an inopportune moment. Circumstances are just not right for taking on such a job. For four reasons. Joel. Lucas. Daniel. And baby girl. I do not have the ideal child care situation presenting itself along side the job opportunity. Day care is out of the question. My paycheck would essentially cover day care costs, thus defeating the purpose of taking the job. Also, just not a fan. I was in day care as a child. I have worked in jobs similar to day care (girl scout camp - glorified day care). I know how kids are treated. So no. Family is out of the question. Everyone works. A ward friend. That would be a possibility. But I would prefer someone with no small children at home (I would not want to over burden anyone). And I would prefer someone to come to my house (as both runs would be during the baby's nap time... not to mention the afternoon run is when ALL THREE boys sleep - I will not mess up a good thing I have going for me). And I would only be able to work for four months at most before baby girl joins our family. At which point I have NO CLUE where life might take me (and this includes with photography).
So I feel as if it is just not right. Which breaks my heart. But I am learning my limits and I know that this is one of them. Besides, I made the choice years ago to be a stay at home mom. THIS is my choice. It is one I would not give up easily. I want to be the one to watch my children grow. To be the one to influence their learning and knowledge. So opportunity? Pass. :(