confessions of a mad woman

I have a confession to make; I am a liar. I am not as put-together as I may appear. While crafts, cooking, cleaning, my calling, and mothering (couldn't think of a C-word to add to the alliteration) keep me sane, they all also contribute to my insanity; the latter of which I have been experiencing more and more frequently. It's as if it all piles up until I become extremely overwhelmed and have a melt down. Having been (and still being) sick for the past 3 weeks does not help in any way. Needless to say, I have been trying to be the perfect everything for everyone and have not focused on ME (which is really weird since I am often a selfish, self-centered only child). So, in order to combat these feelings of being "trapped", Robert and I took the boys to the Phoenix Zoo in order to escape and just be with each other. It was more for me than for anything else - the opportunity to get out of the house (I have MAJOR cabin fever going on due to being sick) and get away from the norm. Other than Joel trying to escape every time he was allowed to roam, we had a marvelous time! WARNING: Picture overload below...The pictures are SO worth going to the web album and viewing. My favorites: Joel & the baboon and Lucas & the goats. The ironic thing is, the moment our little outing was over, life came back hitting just as hard as ever. We hadn't been home for more than an hour before I received a phone call from my father letting me know my mom's dad had had a heart attack (I am not close to my grandpa at all, but such news is still difficult to take). Luckily, they were able to remove the HUGE clot in his coronary artery, but it was looking grim for a while. My parents (and I) are still amazed that he survived the experience; if his girlfriend had hesitated any longer in calling them (both nurses), he may not have lived. Kind of an eye opening experience for everyone (and before you leave a comment about eternal families, just know that I am the only member in my family. Comments like that sting). Robert and I ended the day by doing a sealing session in the temple. I smiled when we were ushered into the same sealing room in which one of my best friends, Gina, was recently sealed in (I kept thinking of you, Gina Banina). Funny how the day that was suppose to be relaxing and stress free became just another day. Ah well. That's life!